The past is the past. People come in and out your life for reasons and even seasons.
I experienced a confirmation recently that made this statement show its true colours and I felt the need to blog about it, because not everyone thinks the same as me and well I haven't said much in a while to my fellow readers.
At times I have visions of my past, as I'm sure we all do. Now, my visions are vividly real. It actually feels like I am re-living that moment all over again for the split second. Its kind of cool, but freaky at the same time.
These visions usual trigger because others mention specific people to me and then weeks or months go by and boom!
I get taken back for a brief moment.
Usually someone specific is shown to me...Its usually a good recap of a good time or a funny moment or the last situation that took place with that someone doing something.
Then I think: "Awe...I wonder how they are doing.."
If my gut instinct tells me to approach them, whether I'd be a text, call or email, for whatever reason, I reach out. Why you ask? Because I sincerely care and will wonder. So I eliminate that wonder and get to the bottom of it.
Then I send a specific message....
Sometimes I get a response back...
...great ones that really make me smile...
...weird ones which are pretty cool to hear about or...
nothing at all, which I think is fair and understandable.
Then there are those responses that make me wish I never even CARED to ask, as its a response that doesn't sit well within me.
It replays that that moment in time,
that lifestyle,
certain people,
those characteristics...and then I realize,
Ahhhh not much has changed!
My heart actually hurts when I get those responses. Makes me sad.
Reason is, I'm always wanting to help people out. No matter what's happened in this past. I want to see people successful, happy and doing well for themselves. Yet at the end of the day, I need to realize that doors shut closed for a reason. My mind says: "...perhaps for only a season?...." Ahhhh No!
That person or that group of friends you surrounded yourself with at one time or another....were only there for those specific times in your life. There is no need for any continuation, unless its a mutual thing, and as awesome as that could potentially be, 98% of the time its not mutual at all by one of the parties involved.
We all grow up.
Learn.
Overcome.
Forgive.
Let go.
Move forward.
Develop better characteristics....
...and yet some people just decide to live in the same atmosphere, have the same attitude towards life and its circumstances. Not really caring at all to change one thing about themselves.
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So...moral of the story here is...Keep the memories locked away and if they pop in your head, just chuckle about it and continue about your day.
You maybe the one to care, worry and think of people....but chances of them thinking of you are pretty damn slim to none.
They probably never cared too much of you, so why not follow their lead?!
Toodles
Good read!!!
ReplyDeleteIt is true that some people are in our lives for a season because they are not meant to stay. Sometimes, it is clear why they were there and other times not so much.
But I never think it is a bad thing to care or reach out to someone from the past, if that is what your gut instinct is telling you do. Even if you think that an email, text or phonecall means nothing to the other person, you may very well have just made their day. Not everyone wears their personalties on their sleeve or has boldness to step in unfamiliar territory, but if that is who you are then you shouldn't change. Even your best attrivutes can be refined. To care about someone is not a flaw, to show concern or interest in someone's life is not a flaw. However, how you receive or react to a response may bring out your flaw. As long as you know your intentions were good and genuine, no matter the response, it should not make you feel like "why did i even bother?"
Don't doubt your impact on someone's life!! People change and relationships/friendships fade but when bonds are formed they are not easy to forget. They may get muddled in pain and hurt BUT they are never forgotten.
No one can be you... there is only one you!!! Try not to undervalue yourself!!
Ash!!!!! Always a fan of your spin on things!! So true!! Thanks for the input - more reason for you to start blogging ......your words are inspiring and powerful !!! Thanks for ur opinion and insight
ReplyDeleteThe world is cold, the world is confused, the people who are warm and straight minded are the ones affected!
ReplyDeleteAnia, you know the other day I had spoken to an Imam from my old hood (In Rexdale) and he had some very interesting things he said to me. He said to me, you know why do people make up and break up so darn quickly? Because North America has such a disposable mentality. And I hate to admit it he's right! The majority of modern relationships cannot understand longevity. Everyone lives for their own selfishness, personal goals, no compromise and little effort to support their significant other.
People like You and I who come from Immigrated Parents constantly look at the examples set by them! How do they do it, 20 plus years and still going, well, one thing I learned, most of our parents chose to ignorant the ways of North American society for their homeland was their best practice of moral! I can't blame them, I admire it, It's something I want, its a theoretical example of the continuation of life. Life's happiness is Life itself, Mohammed Ali said in a interview of his, "look how Birds stay with each other for their whole life, you know very well they hate each other as well as love each other"
Confusion makes us not know what we want, makes us look at minor things geared towards diffculties such as arguments, who likes peanut butter, who likes jelly, and then we suddenly make assessments from that! WHY? Why does one give up so easily? Why do the Iron Hearts hurt so much? Why do the careless and confused Hearts keep trying to bend the Iron ones?
Friends or Girlfriend in my case, don't think about you , at least not the ones YOU want to work it out with. Interestingly enough the ones you are not so interested in happen to think about you and want you to take interest in them. You think its easy to just steer the cart to her direction to make it happen but you just ain't feelin her personality in the whole..... LOL! But you draw towards the one who doesnt put in their effort to hail you up, after you have found she (or he in your case) has many similarities you can share with.
Fighting the Psychological damages is tough, we've been there, but believe me a strong mind can only become stronger from this and a weak one results in tremendous reprocautions! Ania You're doing well Girl! =) keep it up!
Over 1 Million women, and over 1 million dudes in this country yet we have so much problems to keep it together with one! LOL!
hahhahaha Keon !! Preach !!! Respect with the words of wisdom!! But your right with what you say in friendships or in relationships - people don't fight like they use to. Sad. But as long as WE stay TRUE to who we are.....shouldn't matter how that other person reacts or is towards you. WE are being who WE are.....and we are reflect of our parents - the old school generation who keeps things TOGETHER and wants to grow, learn and ride or die as this NEW generation would say.
ReplyDeleteYep! LOL! didnt realize it sounded like a preacher session! but meh it is what it is LOL!
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written. I could not agree more. Sometimes we force certain friendships to continue and they are not meant to be. Or grow and mature and change our priorities. I throroughly enjoyed reading this!
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